its going to be a long journey till ORD. on the positive side, life is slack. at least for the past two weeks of lectures. most of the lectures were interesting though. we get to learn about interesting stuff. haha. can’t wait to pass the course then things should get more interesting. hopefully we’ll all get through the training. i should bring more book for the loads of admin time.
still adjusting. trying to fit in, yet not be too comfy with the company, which is kinda hard to do. sometimes things can get really dreary in there. or perhaps it was just the exception of the past week due to the onslaught of food poisoning on sunday night. never book in if you are feeling well. it is alot easier to recover at home than in camp. and MOs are never as experienced as your GP, or at least they don’t seem to care enough because they’ve seen so many chao kengs. oh well.
when i was on attend b status, i was really feeling quite bored not participating in activities so i started thinking about life, and about living for Christ. life seems so meaningless without a purpose, or at least without a meaningful purpose. wait i sound confusing, even to myself. let me rephrase that. life seems meaningless without a definitive, life-changing purpose which can make a difference in people’s lives. without Christ, ordinary people like us just live very much routine, monotonous, repetitive lives. of course one can argue that the little things you do in life makes a difference. for example, if you get married, the love you have for your wife, or your kids if you have some, will impact them, will bring a smile to their faces. but you’re only making a difference to the people you love, like your family. isn’t that what everyone else is doing? perhaps by extension, the same goes for friends, colleagues and the like. however, that sounds pretty boring to me. you live through the phase of marriage, kids, work, ageing, retiring, and so on and so forth. what’s the meaning behind everything? is there a reason we’re here? and with the countless people that go through the same process, how many pause to question this process that we are all too familiar with. how many wait, take a step back, and think about the purpose of life. i think many people have spoken, voiced out, or blogged about this, but i can’t help but adding to the thicket of opinions. to me, without Christ, everything seems meaningless. brings to mind eccleasiastes. very interesting book of the bible. going back to the topic, when people are asked what they are living for, many give superficial, nonchalant answers, while the majority don’t even know because they haven’t thought about it yet. such is the banality of humanity. how many of us can honestly say that we love our jobs, our lives, and how we are living? i can’t say that i love my job, because i don’t exactly like it. i’m serving because i have a duty being a singaporean. but i do thank God for where i am though. it could have been a lot worse. and like what eunice said, i think i have a mission field, but its really hard to work alone in an environment that is hard to keep spiritually strong and without daily support from like-minded christian brothers. thats one of the reasons why i miss my bmt platoon so very much. sigh. i’m sorry, i digress. for the Christian, its about living for Christ. we carry this responsibility the day we accept Him into our lives and believe that He is Lord and Saviour. but it is so hard to do. we are imperfect beings striving for perfection, and the striving part is the arduous part. encouragement comes in james 1, from the call to persevere that we may be ‘mature and complete, not lacking anything’. sometimes all it has got to do is faith. i’ve been reading lee strobel’s investigative book entitled ‘the case for Christ’, and its been good so far, and an enlightening read. faith is key to Christianity. sometimes i wonder what God has in store for me. but its something for Him to know and me to find out. and of course, we always have lessons in faith and trust in our God. i think i need to learn to trust more, and think less. heh. thus comes to the end of my rambling session. thought i’d post an entry as its been so long since the last.
